I'm Old Greg!
Howard: What’s happening?
Old Gregg: I’m Old Gregg.
Howard: What?
Old Gregg: I’m Old Gregg!
Howard: Where am I?
Old Gregg: Gregg’s place. You’ve been asleep. Do you want a little drinky? I’ll get you a drink. You like Bailey’s? Mmmm… creamy. Soft, creamy beige.
Howard: Mmmm… delicious.
Old Gregg: Do you like Old Gregg’s place? I’ve got all things that are good.
Howard: You’ve done some nice things with it.
Old Gregg: I’ve got this. This is good.
Howard: That’s nice.
Old Gregg: You can have it.
Howard: I’m fine thanks.
Old Gregg: I’ll keep it here for you.
Howard: Well, is this the way… out? Ummm, I better be scootin’. Got meetings and a friend of mine is waiting, so perhaps I should be…
Old Gregg: Why are you going? We got everything we need here. We got Bailey’s… creamy. And everything we need. I’ll get you another Bailey’s.
Howard: I’m fine, thanks.
Old Gregg: I do watercolors.
Howard: Do you?
Old Gregg: Let me show you something. I call that one Old Gregg. And then that one I call Old Gregg. And this one, you know what I call that one?
Howard: Old Gregg?
Old Gregg: Yes sir, thank you sir. I got some more. I got these 2. That one’s Bailey’s. That one’s Bailey’s a bit bigger. And that one’s as close as you can get to Bailey’s without your eyes getting wet.
Howard: Mmm, that is quite a portfolio you’ve got going on there. But I really should be heading up, so it’s been good.
Old Gregg: We could do some watercolors together. You and I.
Howard: Well, that sounds like great fun. Let’s do it in the week then Gregg.
Old Gregg: What do you mean?
Howard: What, you free Thursday at all?
Old Gregg: Why can’t we do it now?
Howard: Well, you know I’m a busy man Gregg. You know, I got things to do. Howard Moon, man about town. (laughs awkwardly)
Old Gregg: Do you love me?
Howard: Oh dear.
Old Gregg: Do you love me?
Howard: Umm, gonna have to pretend I didn’t hear that Gregg.
Old Gregg: You think you could ever love me?
Howard:Uh, it doesn’t really work like that, Gregg.
Old Gregg: How does it work? Tell me how it works.
Howard: Well, you get to know someone, you hang out, you see where that goes. This, that, the other, eventually… you know. I don’t know you!
Old Gregg: You know me. Hmm? What about the boat times?
Howard: That wasn’t really a time, was it Gregg? That was more of just a… an exposure.
Old Gregg: That was our first date. Hmm? You pulled me up with your strong arms!
Howard: Oh dear, look Greg I don’t know you!
Old Gregg: Oh, you know me. You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up.
Howard: Yeah, I didn’t ask to see that, did I?
Old Gregg: What it did mean for you to see that. Did it mean you loved me?
Howard: No, I didn’t.
Old Gregg: Could you learn to love me?
Howard: No, I couldn’t. I don’t love you!
Old Gregg: You do love me.
Howard: No, I don’t!
Old Gregg: You do love me.
Howard: No, I don’t.
Old Gregg: You love me and you’ve seen me and you know me. I’m Old Gregg!
Howard: Yeah, I know you are. You’ve told me 80 or 90 times now.
Old Gregg: You must love me exactly as I love you.
Howard: Well, I don’t love you and to be honest you’re starting to get on my nerves a bit now. If anything I find you slightly pathetic, so deal with that!
Old Gregg: Maybe I will deal with it. Hmm? Maybe I’ll deal with it the way I dealt with Curly Jefferson!
Howard: You know what Gregg? Maybe I was being a bit hasty there, uh, when I said I didn’t love you. Perhaps now in this light with you in the tu-tu and the water playing off your… seaweed. Maybe I could love you. Maybe I was lying because when you do love someone sometimes you say you don’t because you’re playing hard to get, playing a game.
Old Gregg: Games?
Howard: Yeah, I was just playing a game with you.
Old Gregg: Love games?
Howard: That’s right, love games, Gregg.
(funky music starts)
Old Gregg: Love games?
GO TO http://youtube.com/watch?v=h0S6vL0-u58 IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS
Has anyone seen me?…..Cow and I have been looking for this beer…Narragansett Bock Beer…if you see me anywhere please contact Phil….Ralph’s Diner in Worcester ran out….and other places just have the regular Gansett
Happy Birthday Cow….this may be the before picture of the end of the nights happenings…but def the after picture of the beerfest at worldtrade seaport
Do not collect the Whale Eye secretion at Cape Cod!
I came across this article about the increasing problem of male orgies on the beaches of Cape Cod, specifically in the P-Town area. Lawmakers are trying to make harsher penalties for these wild public sexcapades. You can read the article here . Anyways, I was reading through the comments about the article/issue and stumbled upon this gem. I’m pretty sure it is a joke, but it still made me laugh out loud.
Bud_Fox:
“This is very upsetting. Our 6th grade class had a field trip to the National Seashore last fall. We thought the oily, jelly-like mucus the class found on the sand was the secretion from whales eyes that had washed ashore. Some students collected samples for the science fair. We will never go to these beaches again.”
Towel Time
towel (to̵u′əl) time (tīm)noun
Towel Time is the act of sitting in one’s bath cloth for a minimum of one hour. Often times food and beverage is consumed during Towel Time, specifically, bowls of ice cream while friends wait impatiently at alternate destinations. In several cases, naps can be taken during Towel Time. Number of towels is at users’ discretion. Robes are prohibited.
NEW SEGMENT: HERO OF THE MONTH - Ralph Woolfork - “Dee Dee Parker”
This month’s hero award goes to Ralph Woolfolk. Now you maybe asking, “who is Ralph Woolfork?” Ralph starred in the famous laughs-a-million comedy My Brother and Me. Woolfolk played the role of Dee Dee Parker, younger brother to Alfie Parker. My Brother and Me is best known as Nickelodeon’s first African American based sitcom running from 1994 to 1995. The show’s distinguished African American cast along with it’s world renowned writers is a testament to Nickelodeon’s drive to equality in this world. African American enthusiast, Greg Anderson, comments, “I can remember watching the show and rolling on the floor laughing (ROFL) with my family as those crazy characters got mixed up in all sorts of hi-jinks!” Greg went on to remark that not only did he cry when the show was cancelled after one short year, but he wrote several hundred letters to Nickelodeon and the Governor of Massachusetts demanding the return of My Brother and Me.
Ralph Woolfolk currently attends Morehouse College as an English major where he holds a 3.9 GPA. When asked about the cancellation of the program in an article on The Panther, Clark Atlanta University’s website, Woolfolk says, “I pray that God bestows me with humility and understanding as I seek to provide the reader with the most truthful answer in an effort to persuade African Americans to stop bringing validity to the “crabs in the barrel” metaphor.” When asked what exactly what the hell Woolfolk meant, he exclaimed, “I’m not as disappointed about the show being cancelled as I am in them contributing to the negative stereotype that “Blacks can’t get along.”” Further research would make sense of Woolfolk’s eloquent but confounding phrasing. Ralph Woolfolk and cast believe the disagreements between the show’s producers led to the downfall of the show. They are probably right. It probably wasn’t the extremely low production budget or huge lack of viewership. Either way, Ralph Woolfolk is this month’s hero.
Ralph spends his free time playing baseball and pursuing admittance into Harvard Law. He is captain and catcher of the Morehouse College baseball team. People like Ralph are an inspiration to us all. If only there were more equality fighting Dee Dee Parkers or love mongering Ralph Woolfolks in this world, we would all be better off. For instance a very close friend, Paul Beardsley, inspired by the work of Ralph Woolfolk, volunteers every Sunday morning at 8am at the local battered women’s shelter. Paul reads books and feeds pea soup to the women that seek help at the shelter. Paul was a runner up in this month’s hero award.
In conclusion, there would be more peace, love, and unity in this world if My Brother and Me came back on the air. Feel free to write your local or state officials demanding the return of Dee Dee and My Brother and Me.
P.S.- I still don’t have a full time job
Full body shot…looks like we have some more work to do…..looks like she is wearing a fur coat and has a really tiny head!
SHE CAN SEE!!!!!!!
Ok, this is what Lucy Puppy looks like right now, but…stay tuned. Her normal grooming lady is away, so it looks like we’re doing some of it ourselves. We would send her to another groomer but she becomes Kujo when people she doesn’t know tries to shave her…..stay tuned for quite possibly a ridiculous haircut
Getting Loose
Greg: You ready to get loose?Me: Yea I'm ready to get loose.
Greg: I dig getting loose.
Me: Me too Greg
Flying down the road, I almost ran over this little guy, Herbert. Herbert was on his way home from a full night of partying with the Celtics win. He was having some trouble crossing the street b/c he got too loose last night. I almost hit him with the car. I stopped. I picked Herbert up and placed him in the woods. Crazy Herbert! Such a lush.
Whoever said the upper west side was useless? We met Jerry Stiller the other night….he was hammered…told us to “have a nice life” when we left…and it may look like paul is taking the picture but he’s not, joanne isn’t familar with blackberry camera phones, since her blackberry is so ancient it doesn’t have a camera option, that paul had to show her….
Just got in to NYC….hanging with Fin…he’s pretty much the man….not really sure what he’s lookin at…but probably thinking…who the hell is this guy with the camera phone….